Perfect Circle
by zulka
Summary: [Revamp. Three shot KaixHiromixTyson]I sit down and dig my toes into the sand. I disposed of my shoes long ago as well as my life.
1. Pain

A/N: Edited and Reposted. I remember this being one of the first things I wrote for Beyblade when I started writing for the fandom. This is slightly AU. Now that I am reposting this I am dedicating it to **Caffeine****Luc**.

**Perfect****Circle**  
by: Angel del Silencio  
KaixHiromixTakao

Chapter 1: Pain

_The wind rustled his slate coloured hair. It seemed that fate, God or whatever it's called was against him. He looked to the turbulent waters of the ocean, a maelstrom of emotions whirling inside him. A storm was coming; the waters and wind verified it. He looked up into the sky as a few clouds blocked the sun. It had only been today when she had broken the news, as well as his heart. He had expected it to happen. After all he wasn't worthy of happiness, not someone like him. But nonetheless it hurt. _

I sigh into the wind and looking at the sun that now no longer shines I laugh. I laugh at it, at my pain and at no one other than me. I'm at the same beach were we first got together, where all our hopes and dreams had come from. I guess it's only natural that everything has to end here. I sigh once more; I seem to be doing that a lot, often too. I sit down and dig my toes into the sand. I disposed of my shoes long ago as well as my life.

If I say that the events that occurred left me in shock, I would be lying. I had always expected them, but deep down I had hoped that they wouldn't come to pass. The moment I met her, when I saved her, I knew she would be the end of me figuratively back then, literal now.

Life has always been unfair, and I learned to deal with its cruel jokes, with its giving and taking. Beyblading and Suzaku were enough to keep me going, however there is a void now, and I can't escape it. Am I giving up to easily? Maybe, maybe not, it really doesn't matter anymore I struggled to stay on top. All my efforts were in vain.

I was expecting the unexpected and it came to pass, my life a book that has come to its ending. There is however no sequel, why should there be? I stand up and walk towards the water, the waves lapping at my bare feet.

I always thought that I would be fine, even if I was alone. That Dranzer would be enough, I guess I was wrong. I never needed someone, but looking back it seems like I do. A life without love is no life. I feel pathetic, I need to be needed, and I want to be needed. I became addicted to the love she gave me. It gave me a sense of meaning, and I was needed. And it wasn't for beyblading or to help take over the world, no it was to love.

The tournament is over. I was defeated by Takao, in every way possible. Yes, in every way, he won the title and the girl. I'm left with nothing, just a false sense of accomplishment. Back then it felt right, my losing it was alright and back then I had her by my side. But now I feel empty more than before. The team hasn't gotten back together.

Max, I don't know where he is. Rei, I think he went back to his village. It's been about two years I think since last we saw each other. We don't keep in touch; I was never one to do that anyways. Last I heard Max had gotten with Miriam, and Rei was seeing Salima. Strange I always thought he would end with Mao. The way I thought I would stay with Hiromi. Shows how wrong I can be.

A lone tear escapes my eye, and I wonder. Is there something left for someone who has no family? No love? No nothing? No, I don't think so. She made my life whole, she made me complete.

When she called today, I knew. I knew that my life would go back, that the reality I had created would fall. That I would not leave this place complete and I didn't a part of my heart stayed with her and will forever stay with her. There is no use in denying that I love her, what for?

I knew that somehow, he would stay with her in the end. I would end up losing. Another tear escapes my eye. I sit down and look into the ocean, the turbulent dark waters that wait.

Nothing is left, but what can be left of nothing? Absolutely nothing but from that something nothing is left, there will never be anything again. The same way I have nothing, I have no family, I never counted my grandfather, and he's no family. I have no one, the friends, I laugh just acquaintances. The only things I have are memories but I can't live in the past. And memories can't create a life, they are nothing but memories, they don't eat they don't talk and they certainly don't keep anyone warm at night. I lay back. For someone like me who at the beginning had nothing, I end up having nothing. I find that there is nothing left for me, for me, someone who wants to feel needed, to be loved even if just a little.

I stand up, but maybe in another place there is something, somewhere where I won't have to pretend. Another tear escapes, and I reach into my pocket. When she called, I came prepared knowing what would happen, and I hoped that I could be wrong. Unfortunately I wasn't.

I was assured by a very good source that it will be painless and quick. I guess I have to thank my grandfather's right hand man.

A prick and the world begins to fade, I drop the needle and walk into the water. Let people believe I drowned. After all even the strongest swimmer can fall prey to the water, especially if a storm is coming.

The last thing I think about is her.

"I love you."

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A/N: When I first wrote this G-Rev had not ended and that is why now it is slightly AU because the team did get back together. Anyways at first it was going to be a TakaoxKaixHiromi triangle but it turned into this. I would like to see one of those though. Anyways now that I think about this, this is Kai at a breaking point a darker hopeless part I think resides deep within him given his past and personality. Anyways thanks for reading or re-reading.


	2. Regret

**Perfect Circle**  
by: Angel del Silencio  
KaixHiromixTakao

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Chapter 2: Regret_

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_

He stood watching the relentless waters of the sea. His navy coloured hair swaying with the wind. The storm had come but it had not passed and he doubted it would ever end. He chuckled softly at the irony of it all. He shook his head and walked along the sand close to the water, if only, if only.

I stare at the waters of the ocean, the same ones that took Kai away from us a few days ago. I look to the side and find a cliff there, the same cliff from where I stood watching them. From where I always watched them, more often than I can count, and that I should have. I should know, from that cliff I plotted, I came up with ways to win Hiromi's affection. Somehow I thought that she would be better with me, that I could love her the way Kai couldn't. The fact that I didn't notice how happy they were together here in this beach tells me how wrong I was, but now it's too late.

They would spend hours here, talking, teasing each other and just having fun. In a way I envied it, I envied Kai for having Hiromi. I loved her too, but she had chosen Kai. Their laughter would reach my ears in the cliff. The jealousy I felt would increase. As I think of this right now, I would give anything to change the mistakes I made. I wish I could go back in time but I know that that is impossible. I only wish.

I was selfish and I wanted Hiromi, and I set out to have her, not caring if someone got hurt in the process and when I started feeling guilty I would push it away thinking that he had at least someone and didn't need her. But I was wrong, his funeral was yesterday, and that was when I realized.

The funeral of a blader that everyone had loved was only attended by thirteen people. Ray, Max, Grandpa, Mr. Dickenson, Hiromi, Hiro, Tala, Bryan, Spencer, Miriam, Salima, Kenny, and me, Takao. No other teams showed up, no fans either they never liked the thought of him going out with Hiromi. His death was only twenty seconds in the evening news, as if it was nothing important. Mr. Dickenson had an article written on him on the newspaper and that was it.

I spoke to the others during the funeral; I found out that he had not seen anyone after the tournament. Not even Ray who I always thought was a good friend of him. In all my envy I guess I forgot what kind of person Kai was. I sigh, I guess I thought that Suzaku and beyblading would kept him around. But I was wrong.

I laugh bitterly; I should have known that something was wrong when Hiromi received a call from his butler. He had been missing for a week. I was with Hiromi when he called and we soon left and went to his apartment. I was surprised to see the state the apartment was in.

He had known what would happen. I imagined him sitting there on the floor, with the vodka bottle in his hand and for a moment I thought the image was real . That he was really sitting there, that was probably what he had done before he had met her in that beach. There were pictures scattered on the floor, one with the whole team before Hiromi came. The others were mostly of them two and I was surprised to find some of myself. Some of them were old others were new. I never imagine Kai was one for pictures.

I was the only one who noticed that the stereo was still playing; it was playing so softly I was surprised I heard it. When I got closer to turn it off, I realized it was on repeat. I got the CD and kept it. I listened to it when I got home, and now its chorus is always playing in my mind, a song that described how he had probably felt in the end.

I turn to the water once more, and walk closer to it. I sigh and look at the cloudy sky. The day had been pretty when she told him. With just a few clouds, and the sea wasn't as rough as it is today.

There was nothing in the apartment that said where he had gone, no note no nothing. But Hiromi knew. She knew that even if we did find him he wasn't going to be alive. She was feeling guilty even before we found out he disappeared.

We were in the dojo when his body washed up. Mr. Dickenson called us that day. Apparently he had drowned, but I doubted that. I had a feeling that he was more dead than alive before he hit the water. I didn't tell the others or Hiromi this. She was already feeling guilty for his death.

But now I know, and I was right asphyxiation was secondary. The report crumbles in one hand and the needle shatters in the other. It shatters the way I imagine Kai's heart did and it crumbles the way his life did.

Don't ask me how I got the report, but I got it. The blood in the needle matches Kai's and the drug inside had been lethal.

Hiromi had been the only thing he had and I took her away from him. I look at the sea once more and tears form in my eyes. All my talk about him liking to be alone and not needing anyone was just that, talk.

They were too different to make it work. He was too quiet and she was more of an extrovert than an introvert. I had known her for a longer time than he had, and I used that to help me. But I should have known that he needed her. But no, I took Hiromi, I knew what I should have done, but that wasn't what I did. I should have left them alone. If I had then Kai would still be alive.

But that's not what makes me feel guilty. No it's the fact that as much as I love Hiromi, I don't need her to survive. I don't need her; if she left I would be fine I would be able to move on with my life. I have my grandpa, Hiro, the rest of the team. She's not my world I don't revolve around her. But unlike me, Kai had no one, except for his grandfather but he is not what I would consider family.

I wipe the tears that have fallen from my eyes, even though you can't really tell since it has started raining. I was so selfish, I'm so sorry Kai, really sorry. I leave the beach and walk toward my car. I look at the sea once more. The road is right next to it. And I image him with her right there, laughing. But it's only my imagination, a false reality, they will never be there again and I'm the one responsible for that.

I get in the car and as I drive down the road I put in the CD. The song brings new tears to my eyes. I'm sorry Kai, so very sorry, if only I had realized. The song ends and I look down and play it again. As I look up my mind doesn't register the other car and we collide.

The last thing I hear before the world starts to fade is the ending.

_For me time doesn't exist, for me you don't exist, and for me there is nothing left, for me there is nothing left. __

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_


	3. Aftermath

**Perfect****Circle**  
by: Angel del Silencio

Chapter 3: Aftermath

_The brunette stood overlooking the ocean; her hair was windswept by the afternoon ocean breeze. A cold and bitter tear made its way down her cheek. Behind her stood the same road in which he had crashed, and beneath her the very ocean in which he had taken his life. She edged closer to the end of the cliff and sat down. The weather reflected the misery she felt inside and a slight drizzle began to fall._

I look down at the ocean and remember a certain blader who I loved. Right behind me is the road in which Takao crashed and died. A bitter laugh escapes my lips. This whole beach ties us together.

I always imagined a happy ending for me and I never imagined I would become lost along the way. The path I saw and followed had always been clear, it wasn't until I fell in love with two people that it became uncertain. From that moment on I became lost. I could either leave Kai and go with Takao or stay with Kai and forget about Takao. I didn't know what to do. This confusion was what brought our downfall. It was the fork in the middle of the road, and I picked the wrong side. The moment I decided to leave Kai and go with Takao we were all lost.

I feel the ocean breeze and with it for a moment I can hear both of their voices. I can hear Kai, and tears begin to form in my eyes. I hear Takao and the bitter tears fall. I sigh and remember the report, the same one that Takao found. I didn't tell the others, there was no need to. What for? I had guessed that Kai had committed suicide and the report only proved it. I know Takao thought the same. The report convinced him.

More tears fall from my eyes as I remember Kai. When his body washed up, I knew deep down that he had not drowned. But I didn't want to believe it because that would mean that I killed him, that his death was my fault. That's a rather bitter pill to swallow.

I stand up and look up at the sky, a light drizzle began to fall not so long ago. I look away from the sky and make my way down to the beach. Takao's funeral was earlier, happy go-lucky Takao.

His funeral was so different from Kai's. Many fans had attended, as well as many of the other teams. There were more than thirteen people, that's for sure.

I look at the waves that are now lapping at my feet; I look to my right and find our favorite spot. And the tears that I thought were gone came back in full force. From that spot we made promises and plans. From that spot we promised that we would stay together forever, I realize that I broke that promise. Forgive me Kai.

I will never hear his voice or laugh again; neither will I see him anymore. I won't see any of them anymore.

I know Takao felt guilty for Kai's death. I feel guilty for both their deaths. In the cemetery they both rest, forever silenced. There is enough space between their graves for mine. I wonder how much time shall pass before I join them. I'll be torn between them in death as I was in life.

How much time will pass until I'll be able to get rid of the pain and guilt of their deaths? No I won't commit suicide, as much as I want to I can't.

Rei and the rest of the team tricked me into staying alive. They knew what I was thinking. Now I'm stuck living with this ache in my heart.

I leave the beach and make my way to my house. I don't think I'll visit this place again, too many good and bad memories I can live without.

It is no longer a drizzle, but a downpour as the sky mourns both their deaths. Kai had felt that Takao was better than him and now I realize I proved him right. My tears are no longer visible with the rain; my body is soaked and numb. I wish that I could stay numb forever. That way I won't be able to feel, and the pain and guilt would be easier to deal with. Everything would be easier that way. Life wouldn't be so painful anymore. I look and I see my house is coming closer.

No one is home, and its better that way. I reach it and enter, walk to my room and don't bother to change as I drop myself on the bed.

Once more tears make their way down my cheeks, bitter cold tears. The sun will no longer shine for me, it has set and it has set forever. Never to return, I guess I was greedy. And now in the end I am left with nothing, I just hope I'll be able to survive. I know that someday, I'll be able to see them once more and perhaps that day the sun will shine.

_The End_

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Author's note: this was inspired by something I read a very long time ago.


End file.
